


Bon, I Did It For Your Own Good

by Jeiidaan, rynoa29



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: But Renzou is a matchmaker and he's on a mission, He just wants to get his feelings out, Love Letters, M/M, Ryuuji writes a letter with no intentions to ever send it, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeiidaan/pseuds/Jeiidaan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynoa29/pseuds/rynoa29
Summary: Rin finds a love letter in his shoe locker.At least, he thinks it's a love letter.
Relationships: Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Comments: 16
Kudos: 96





	Bon, I Did It For Your Own Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TongueTiedRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TongueTiedRaven/gifts).



> Happy late Valentines Day!! ♥

_You frustrate the hell out of me, you know._

_Ever since I met you it’s been like that. And the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I thought that would change, but it hasn’t. Not one bit._

_At first it was because I thought you were just some rich kid who didn’t care about taking classes seriously. Then it was because you kept trying to act cool and mysterious, never relying on others. Then it was because you were keeping secrets and I just couldn’t accept what happened that day at all._

_By that time, I think I already liked you more than I realized. I think it’s probably why I lashed out so hard. I’m still sorry about that, and I’m an idiot for not telling you at least that yet._

_I just didn’t expect it, any of it. I let my guard down. You’re just so damn persistent, you know? Even when I wanted to look away, I couldn’t help but to look back at you. You and your damn smile. It’s infectious as hell. You really brighten the mood in the room when you’re around, you know. I bet you don’t even realize. I know it’s not just me that’s affected._

_It’s not just your smile. It’s just… you. You’re silly, and strong, and I don’t mean physically. You put up with a hell of a lot and keep your head up even then. I admire that. You’re kind, too. But never to yourself. I wish you were. You deserve that and much more. I wish I could tell you that to your face but I don’t think I’d be able to stop at that. Or maybe I would, but only because whatever expression you’d make would either make me wanna punch you or kiss you, and I really don’t want to punch you, even if you end up saying something stupid. And I really, really don’t want to kiss you. But only because I don’t think I’d ever be able to stop._

_You really do drive me crazy. I can’t concentrate anymore, not when you’re around. Your smile makes my stomach get all knotted up. The way your entire expression lights up keeps making my heart stutter. Why do you have to be so cute?_

_It’s so damn embarrassing. Every day I keep telling myself to cut it out, but then the light of the sun catches on your eyes and I can’t look away. I can’t stop thinking about it either. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve caught myself doodling, trying to sketch down that memory, when I should be focusing on class??_

_I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to push these feelings away. We don’t have time for this, you know. Pursuing this would be crazy. Pointless too. I don’t even have to spell out why. I know you don’t feel the same way._

_Even so, there’s a part of me that hopes that maybe, you’d feel the same way. If you did…_

And that was where Rin’s first love letter ended. 

Rin stared at it before reading it again. It was far from a traditional love letter. Even though it had been in his shoebox, closed away in a light pink envelope, it wasn’t signed. It wasn’t even finished. There was no cute language and half of the letter seemed more like a threat to the point where it took a while for Rin to even realize it was a love letter at all.

But then he got to the kiss part again and Rin felt his face heat up. It was flattering to the point of being overwhelming. The whole letter was. Even though it was nothing like a traditional love letter, there was something raw and genuine about it that touched him and made his stomach flutter. 

It seemed like the sender knew him quite well, but the handwriting looked rushed, maybe swept up in the emotion of the letter itself, to the point where he didn’t really recognize the handwriting, even though it looked somewhat familiar. 

_Who could it be?_ Rin bit his lip, holding tight to the letter before the school bell rang. He wanted to skip, but knew he shouldn’t. He folded up the letter and quickly tucked it away in his pocket as he headed down the hall to his classroom. 

He tried to pay attention, but all he could think about was the letter. As the teacher began his lecture in earnest, Rin pulled the letter out from his pocket and read it over again. It had to be someone he knew. That much was certain. The letter had mentioned lashing out and the rest of it just seemed too familiar. Rin didn’t have many friends. He could probably count all of them on his two hands.

Rin paused and looked at his hands, counting out the names one by one.

He was certain he could count all of them on his two hands.

 _It can’t be Shiemi,_ Rin thought with a little bit of disappointment. Though she had lashed out at him back when his secret was revealed, she didn’t seem like the type to even consider punching someone. That, and he was pretty sure she couldn’t draw.

It probably wasn’t Izumo. She lashed out all the time and never seemed sorry for it.

Maybe it was Godaiin. Rin looked at the back of his head for a moment before sighing. No, it probably wasn’t him. Godaiin knew straight out he wasn’t a rich kid. He was a delinquent.

Rin growled under his breath and rubbed his fingers through his hair. Could it be Konekomaru? Maybe. Ryuuji also fit the bill, but there was _no way_ that guy would ever think of him like that. Ryuuji was, without a doubt, completely out of his league. 

It was no good. He couldn’t figure it out on his own. He spent the entirety of his morning classes thoroughly distracted and it wasn’t until it was time for lunch that Rin returned to reality. Maybe he could show the letter to his friends and see if they had any opinions. 

He read through it again as he put his bag over his shoulder and headed to the cafeteria. His stomach still flipped and fluttered. He wanted to know who this person was. He had to know. Rin took a deep breath and sighed it out as he held the letter to his chest before entering the cafeteria and looking around. 

“Hey!” He called out as he saw familiar faces. Rin bounded right up to the table and sat beside Konekomaru, placing the letter down and pulling out his lunchbox. “What’s up?”

“Good afternoon, Okumura-kun!” Konekomaru beamed. “Nothing, at the moment. We just settled down ourselves. How was class this morning?”

“Urgh…” Rin let out a grumbling noise. 

“Don’t tell me you’re already that fried.” Ryuuji glanced at Rin briefly and frowned. “It can’t have been that bad.”

“You’re the only one who thinks that, Bon,” Renzou pointed out dryly, before looking at Rin with a commiserating expression. “I get you, man. We only just got back from summer break. It ain’t fair how hard they’re going at it already!”

“Shima. It’s been two weeks.”

“Exactly!” Renzou protested. 

“And again, I’m gonna start worrying for real if you think it’s already that bad. We may be in different classes but the material they’re covering ain’t all that different. Just what exactly is tripping you up already!”

“Well it’s not really ‘cause of classes!” Rin interrupted, partly because he fervently agreed with Renzou, but more because he was eager to tell them. “It’s because I got a letter in my shoebox this morning and I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“A letter?” Konekomaru blinked owlishly at him. 

“Yeah! And it’s not even signed so I don’t know who sent it!” Rin picked up the letter again and pouted as he looked at the handwriting, as if staring long enough would reveal the sender’s name. “I’ve been reading this over and over trying to put together who it might be, but I’m stumped!”

“Oh? Okumura-kun, is that what I think it is?” Renzou had a sly grin on his face. He, too, was far too eager to jump away from the topic of schoolwork, especially at the sight of the letter and the pink envelope that had been left on the table. “A mysterious _love letter!_ Oh, that’s fun! I’m jealous!”

“Y-You… got a love letter?” The interruption was effective enough to distract Ryuuji as well. He was staring at Rin again; more specifically, at the back of the letter Rin was holding in his hand. His frown was even more severe than before. “A real one this time?”

“Yeah! A real actual love letter!” Rin looked down at it. “I think!”

“What do you mean ‘you think?’” Konekomaru said under a soft laugh. “It’s a love letter or it isn’t, right?”

“Well yeah! But they also said they didn’t know whether they wanted to punch me or—” He paused and lowered his voice, his face flushing. “Or kiss me!”

Renzou burst into laughter. "Sounds like a real tsundere character!"

Beside him, Ryuuji had gone remarkably quiet. Still too. One could have made fun of him for looking like a perfect replica of a Buddha statue if not for the fact that there was nothing peaceful about his expression. 

"Let's see it, then!" Renzou said, reaching over for the letter with a devilish look on his face. "Maybe I can help ya figure it out!"

Before his fingers could even graze the paper, Ryuuji's hand darted forward, as quick as a cobra, and closed around his wrist with a tight grip. 

"Cut it out!" 

Ryuuji's voice was sharp enough that even people sitting a few tables away from them glanced their way. Renzou winced as the grip on his wrist tightened, but Ryuuji didn't let go. 

"That shit's private! Leave it alone!"

“Bon, come on, now!” Konekomaru reached across the table, motioning placatingly with his hands. “It’s up to Okumura-kun anyway, isn’t it?”

“I was actually hoping you guys could help me!” Rin insisted. He handed the letter over to Konekomaru, however, who peered at the writing with a curiosity that he attempted to mask. 

Ryuuji’s complexion lost a few shades of color. “T-That’s...!” He shook his head but couldn't seem to be able to say anything else. Instead, he watched Konekomaru intently, all while holding on to Renzou as if seeking to ground himself.

“Ouch! Bon, c’mon, let go already!” Renzou complained, but his voice went unheard. 

“This is…” Konekomaru's eyebrows drew together and he slowly lowered the letter. When he glanced up, he met Ryuuji's eyes, and that gesture alone had the tall teen releasing Renzou and springing up to his feet. 

"I. Where did you—Why do you—I gotta go." 

The words were rushed and his exit even more abrupt. He glanced at Rin for a singular moment, meeting those bright blue eyes which seemed to freeze him in place, but not for longer than a second. He didn’t take his food with him. He didn’t even take his bookbag. He fled before any of them could even think to stop him, leaving an awkward silence in his wake.

“Did… I say something?” Rin looked at the other two. 

“What? No, no, I don’t think it’s anything you did.” Konekomaru looked down at the letter with a thoughtful expression. 

“I guess?” Rin pursed his lips. “It just seems like I’m always pissing him off.” He looked across the table at the seat Ryuuji had vacated before he saw the abandoned lunchbox. “Ah! He didn’t even take his food with him. That idiot!” Rin quickly reached over for it, closed it up, and stood. “I’ll be back! I’m just gonna give this to him!” 

“Ah, O-Okumura-kun, maybe—!” Konekomaru began. 

“Shh, Koneko-san!” Renzou said in a very hushed voice, visibly gesturing to him to be quiet. When Rin glanced back at them, Renzou waved him off with a smile. “Better hurry, Okumura-kun! Try the library or his room if you lose him! And don’t mind his temper!” 

Rin blinked between the two of them as Konekomaru gave Renzou a confused look, but he decided to ignore it. He beamed and nodded. “Thanks! I’ll be back later probably!”

He hurried out of the cafeteria and looked around. It seemed Ryuuji had wandered off fairly quickly, so Rin decided to take Renzou’s advice and headed for the library first. He entered the building and it took a second of looking around before he was able to locate the front desk. Luckily, Ryuuji stuck out so he described him and the receptionist was easily able to tell Rin that he had not come into the library yet that day. 

So then it was off to the dormitory. He had been to Ryuuji’s room once or twice, though it was not as common of a stop as Konekomaru and Renzou’s room. They usually tended to meet in their room more than Ryuuji’s, but thankfully, Renzou had directed him in the off chance he ever needed Rin to hand something over to his friend. 

So it was with carefully retracing his steps and wracking his memory that he was able to find Ryuuji’s door. He knocked twice and waited, rocking on the balls of his feet. It took almost a minute for it to open. 

“O-Okumura?! What’re you doin’ here?!”

Ryuuji looked just as out of breath as before, even more so. His hair was disheveled, as if he had run his hands through it several times due to stress. Even more shocking was the sight behind him. His normally neat and tidy room had been turned upside down. Piles and piles of books were scattered across the floor. His bed looked out of sorts too; the sheets and pillows had been pulled off and thrown to the floor. Clothes followed the same trail, pulled out of various drawers. 

“Whoa!” Rin stared at the mess with wide eyes, leaning past the door frame to peek around the bulky teen. “Did someone rob the place or something?”

Ryuuji straightened up and blocked the view of his room from Rin’s sight. “Okumura,” he repeated again, voice terse. “Did ya need somethin’?”

“Oh, yeah.” Rin held up the lunchbox as his voice took on a scolding tone. “You ran off without eating! You can’t talk about class and school and stuff without eating balanced meals, you know.”

Ryuuji blinked. He stared at the lunchbox as if he could not fathom its presence, but Rin's words eventually registered through, and when they did, some of his tension lessened. He reached out to accept the wrapped container carefully, meeting Rin’s eyes as he did.

"That's all you came here for?" he asked softly. 

“Yeah?” Rin rubbed the back of his neck, then, suddenly remembering how harried Ryuuji had looked when he fled the table. “And I guess I also wanted to make sure you were alright? You looked… bothered.”

Ryuuji flinched. Then, he looked mad at himself for having reacted like that. He glanced off to the side in an attempt to get himself under control but it was clearly visible that it was no easy task. He seemed to get more flustered by the second. 

"I'm... fine," he muttered, a protest that seemed flimsy given the wary glance he cast at Rin. 

"Did you... Did they—? No, never mind.”

Rin furrowed his brow as his lips turned down into a frown. There it was again. It was like Ryuuji was stopping himself from speaking his mind, something that he _never_ did. It was curious as it was concerning. “Suguro. It’s not like you to keep your thoughts to yourself. Something’s bothering you! It’s obvious! So just spill it already.”

"There's nothing to say!" 

This time, Ryuuji emphasized his words with harsh glare, but Rin didn't heed the warning for what it was, lifting his chin challengingly.

"You're acting weird," he accused, to which Ryuuji bristled in response. 

"It's nothing!" he insisted.

"It's clearly something!" Rin shot back.

"So what if it is!"

Rin gained a triumphant look on his face which only made Ryuuji angrier. His face was red, all the way up to the tips of his ears, and when he saw Rin open his mouth again, he cut in with a growl.

"For fuck's sake, Okumura. Why can't ya just let things be!" He jabbed Rin's chest hard with his index finger.

“Because you’re not acting normal and you’re upset about _something_ and it’s not school ‘cause you would’ve just lectured me about it if it was!” He gestured up to him. “You’re a mess!” Then he pointed to his room. “And your room’s a mess too! I’ve only seen your room like three times and it’s always super super clean! And you’re always careful about the things you eat too since you do a lot of work! So what’s going on?!”

"Why does it matter to you!" Backed into a corner, Ryuuji couldn't say anything else. He couldn't refute Rin's words at all.

“Because I care about you?!” Rin gave him an outraged, confused look. “Why wouldn’t it matter?!”

In response, Ryuuji merely closed his eyes. The frustration on his face didn't fade away in the least. "Dammit, Okumura." He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further as he tugged on the ends of it hard. "Why do you have to make things so difficult? You frustrate the hell out of me, you know."

“Me?! I’m not the one making things—” Rin’s voice caught in his throat as the rest of the words finally processed in his mind. He couldn’t help but notice it. After all, he’d been reading that letter all morning, over and over for hours. 

Could it be? After all, Ryuuji did have a strong opinion of him in the beginning, and though he’d never apologized for lashing out once he found out about his heritage, Rin never really cared because they’d all become friends again. But could it be that not apologizing was something Ryuuji regretted? The comment of drawing, the threat of punching him… And the way he’d reacted to the sight of the letter…

Could it really be?

Maybe Rin was jumping to conclusions. He wondered if there was a way to figure it out, a way to prod further without revealing his thoughts, just in case they were wrong. 

“You’re the one making things difficult,” he said, completing his earlier thought. Then he added, “And you’re being all mysterious and not relying on us!”

The words were pointed enough that Ryuuji's subsequent reaction to them confirmed it. 

"You!" Panic interlaced his anger now. "Are you—making fun of me?!" 

He looked half a second away from slamming the door on Rin's face, but what he did instead was a testament to Ryuuji's fight or flight instinct. The fuse of his temper was shorter than the dread weighing like a stone in his stomach, and it fueled him to pull Rin in by the front of his shirt with a harsh tug only to slam him against the wall of his bedroom. 

"I really am gonna punch you, after all." 

Despite being treated so roughly, Rin’s eyes widened in excitement. This had to be it. It just had to be him. “It was you?!” He grabbed Ryuuji’s hand, grinning brightly. “Did you really write that?”

"Did you figure it out or not?!" The flushed color in Ryuuji's face wasn't entirely due to anger anymore. “Why’d you have that with ya anyway! You weren’t supposed to read that!”

“You were the one who put it in my locker! And why the hell didn’t you finish it? Or sign it?! You really made it hard on me!” Rin huffed, thought the brightness in his eyes didn’t dim in the slightest. “Do you really wanna kiss me?” he teased at once.

“No!!!” Ryuuji spluttered. “And I didn’t put it in your locker! Why do ya think I was tryin’ to tear my room apart?!”

“Well someone did!” Rin went back to pouting. “So does that mean you’re really gonna punch me instead? That’s not nice! After I brought you your lunch and I was thinking about you all morning!” His eyes travelled over Ryuuji’s face. It wasn’t that he hadn’t noticed how attractive he was before, but Rin felt like he was now allowed to look a bit closer. His strong jaw and broad shoulders made an appealing frame and the way his cheeks bruised that embarrassed red color just made him look cute.

The attention only made Ryuuji self-conscious, however. 

"Just. Forget about it."

To Rin's disappointment, the taller teen decided to finally let him go. He loosened his grip on Rin's shirt before wrenching his hand away, shaking Rin's touch off. He couldn’t meet his eyes anymore either, flustered as he was.

"I didn't mean for you to find out,” he muttered. “I didn't want ya know. I didn’t want to put ya in that position, so just—pretend you didn't read any of it. You don't gotta say anythin’ else!" 

It took a few moments of staring before Rin realized what was happening. 

“Hey! You can’t write a letter like that and then reject me!” Rin stepped forward, trying to catch Ryuuji’s eyes with his own. “You said you didn’t mean for me to find out or you didn’t wanna put me in that position but I don’t really get what you mean by that. Everything you said in that letter was all true, right? Or…” he paused. “Was it a lie?”

“Of course it wasn’t a lie!” Ryuuji’s gaze snapped back to glare at him, insulted by the accusation. “I wouldn’t mess around like that!”

“Then why the hell are you being so confusing?!” Rin scowled. “I never thought in a million years that someone like you would ever like me. You’re amazing and smart and capable and I’m… not!” He grimaced. “So if you’re serious about this, then I wanna do everything to make sure you won’t regret it! I’ll make you lunchboxes and we’ll go on dates and I’ll even do homework with you if that’s what you want! So please!” 

Rin bowed formally at the waist, his arms pressed tightly to his side.

“Please go out with me, Suguro!”

"Y-You.. Are you bein' serious right now?!" Ryuuji was openly gaping at him. It took him a couple of seconds to truly register Rin's words. Rin's confession. 

"But I thought..." Ryuuji shook his head. "You wanna go out with _me_?!"

“Why else would I be asking like this?!” Rin looked at him, his tone incredulous, but determined. 

“I don’t get why you’re askin’ at all!” 

The shock didn't quite go away, but Ryuuji seemed to get his head back on straight after another moment. He stared at Rin, brow creased with doubt and uncertainty, but there was a shade of hope glimmering in his eyes.

"You really wanna go out with me? I thought you liked... someone else," he said quietly. "That letter... I was just tryin’ to sort out my feelings. You don't have to feel obligated to respond to it. It doesn't have to change things." 

Rin frowned as he straightened up and crossed his arms. “You’re the frustrating one,” he complained. “Why do you keep trying to convince me to ignore this? Sure it came as a shock, but it’s not like I never liked you to begin with. I just always assumed you were out of my league. If you like me, stop questioning me and just say yes or something.”

“Out of your… Since when did you like me?!” That came as more of a shock than Rin’s acceptance of his feelings. It really was too much for him to process. He stared at Rin, stumped, opening and closing his mouth, and the tinge of red that had slowly been fading around came back in full force. “This is crazy…” he muttered.

And even though he knew Rin was the last thing from malicious, he couldn’t help but to challenge him then. He set his jaw and stared down at Rin with a fierce expression. 

“Fine. You want to date me then? Everything you just said, the lunches and the homework and the dates, all of that?” 

Rin’s smile grew again as he hopped a step forward. “Yeah!”

The enthusiastic answer was enough to have Ryuuji's heart skipping a beat.

"That means kissing too, you know!" he added, as if to remind Rin of what he was really getting into.

Rin blinked and, for a moment, Ryuuji thought he’d won. But then Rin’s cheeks flushed and he nodded. He reached forward and took Ryuuji’s face in his hands with a determined look.

“Then, I’ll kiss you, but only if you say you’ll go out with me!”

“Y-Y-You…” In that close proximity, it was difficult for Ryuuji to do anything other than to stutter. He made quite a sight, standing there, awkwardly holding his lunch box in one hand, while the other flailed aimlessly. But the longer he stared into Rin’s eyes, into those blue depths which he often lost himself in, the hardened, defensive shield that he’d wrapped his heart in began to melt. “I already said fine, didn’t I? And... and I’m the one that confessed in the first place!” he protested, but with none of the vigor from before. 

Rin beamed and, without wasting another second, leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was a soft, warm feeling. One that had Rin’s tail squirming with delight from under his uniform. One that had Ryuuji gasping for a beat before slowly, finally, melting into it. When he placed his hand on Rin’s waist, settling there, he pulled him closer as if afraid that the reality of this moment would fade away into a dream.

But this was real. This was it. They were _kissing._ They were **_dating._ ** All because Rin had somehow gotten a hold of the letter Ryuuji had never intended to let him see. ****

How _did_ Rin get that letter?

* * *

“...Are you sure we should have let him go like that?”

"Koneko-san, don’t you get it? This is finally it! This is gonna _work!_ Just you wait and see!”

“You don’t mean… _Shima-san_ ,” Konekomaru said, staring at Renzou’s unrepentant expression with a reprimanding frown.

“What? It was for their own good!” 

"...One of these days, your dangerous ideas are going to catch up to you. Please quit while you're ahead."

“Bah. You have far too little faith in me. Come on, even if Bon figures it out, which he _won’t_ , he’ll have no choice but to be grateful!”

Konekomaru cast him a doubtful look before putting his hands together and bowing his head. “I’ll pray for you at your funeral.” 

Renzou only laughed. “Don’t kill me off just yet! The only praying you’ll be doing is at their wedding!”

When Ryuuji and Rin showed up at the cram school later, holding hands, Renzou's delighted grin almost gave him away, but his friends were too into each other, in their own little world, to notice, so Konekomaru alone bore the brunt of Renzou's smug victory for the rest of the day.


End file.
